You don't have asthma, your pregnant
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
