so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
