you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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