She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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