cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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