what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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