I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
