his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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