And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
he was CRYING into my vagina
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
