dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
