I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
