I smell stomach acid.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
