my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
im having a threesome with these popsicles
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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