Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
