god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
