i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
