a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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