i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
