she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
