Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
