Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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