im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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