Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
operation have a gay friend backfired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize