Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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