Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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