Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
