i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
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I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
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I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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