somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
