Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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