ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
