I CAN MOONWALK!
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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