how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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