Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
