please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.