Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her

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  (206): You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her http://tfl.nu/auxf
  Replies (6) Good night (3574) Bad night (1741)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am

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  (262): I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am http://tfl.nu/wxgn
  Replies (7) Good night (4169) Bad night (1099)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner

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  (908): His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life. (732): sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner http://tfl.nu/i1p0
  Replies (26) Good night (1429) Bad night (5714)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet

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  (207): I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet http://tfl.nu/5wz6
  Replies (12) Good night (9208) Bad night (1229)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?

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  (217): If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping? http://tfl.nu/vdup
  Replies (5) Good night (2127) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.

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  (705): Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over. http://tfl.nu/0oyy
  Replies (5) Good night (2157) Bad night (841)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way

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  (925): At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way http://tfl.nu/fo4u
  Replies (5) Good night (776) Bad night (1891)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.

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  (310): Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage. http://tfl.nu/meih
  Replies (12) Good night (1898) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet

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  (727): And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet http://tfl.nu/ztj3
  Replies (4) Good night (431) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.

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  (720): We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out. http://tfl.nu/ioyx
  Replies (3) Good night (879) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished

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  (646): He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished http://tfl.nu/jql6
  Replies (6) Good night (459) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon

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  (817): apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon http://tfl.nu/fh3y
  Replies (2) Good night (990) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.

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  (323): In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink. http://tfl.nu/5x8b
  Replies (5) Good night (813) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...

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  (443): Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume... http://tfl.nu/owv3
  Replies (7) Good night (626) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.

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  (610): In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game. http://tfl.nu/bv7v
  Replies (0) Good night (511) Bad night (314)

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