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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  How are you feeling today?

  (330): View more from Ohio

  i could've thrown up on command at any point today...

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.

  (231): View more from Michigan

  i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.

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• (925): View more from California

  This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.

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• (805): View more from California

  I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (914): View more from New York

  After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.

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• (585): View more from New York

  By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.

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• (714): View more from California

  Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.

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• (585): View more from New York

  Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.

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