omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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