Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.

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  (610): The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem. http://tfl.nu/6hmf
  Replies (34) Good night (2004) Bad night (798)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight

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  (740): Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook. (740): Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight http://tfl.nu/qdoi
  Replies (23) Good night (813) Bad night (2948)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.

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  (202): I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me. http://tfl.nu/uo6c
  Replies (111) Good night (2532) Bad night (36267)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.

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  (765): my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes. http://tfl.nu/hrf7
  Replies (8) Good night (4368) Bad night (616)
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  (234): View more from Ohio

  omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic

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  (234): omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic http://tfl.nu/8g4p
  Replies (12) Good night (6372) Bad night (913)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?

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  (217): I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college? http://tfl.nu/03bi
  Replies (13) Good night (4688) Bad night (944)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.

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  (517): Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned. http://tfl.nu/fz01
  Replies (5) Good night (1790) Bad night (795)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.

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  (859): She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding. http://tfl.nu/udu2
  Replies (3) Good night (907) Bad night (1930)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??

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  (432): Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips?? http://tfl.nu/qj3i
  Replies (9) Good night (1304) Bad night (812)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.

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  (404): You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control. http://tfl.nu/g1ps
  Replies (9) Good night (1754) Bad night (2562)
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  (760): View more from California

  I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.

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  (760): I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait. http://tfl.nu/31q4
  Replies (6) Good night (1381) Bad night (688)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.

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  (434): He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face. http://tfl.nu/h6c3
  Replies (13) Good night (1148) Bad night (2222)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.

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  (507): Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it. http://tfl.nu/8sjw
  Replies (7) Good night (1432) Bad night (444)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five

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  (912): He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five http://tfl.nu/n789
  Replies (3) Good night (1143) Bad night (355)
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  (818): View more from California

  Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business

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  (818): Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business http://tfl.nu/hoe8
  Replies (4) Good night (1258) Bad night (296)

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