fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
reminds me of losing my job
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wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
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i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?