Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
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So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
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It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick