Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.