I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
