My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
