Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
