they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
