i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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