Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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