So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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