Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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