She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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