Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
