Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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