If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
