Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
