now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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