The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
