my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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