you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
