In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
