Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
