i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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