I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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