was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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