ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
