The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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