It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Welp...herpes.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
