I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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