On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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