i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
