Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
