i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
honey bunches of taint.
Found the puke drawer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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