Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
