WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
