Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
