I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
did you just send me my own nude
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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