Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I have feelings that need drinking.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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