Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
