I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize