you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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